So one of the things I vowed to do if I were ever in a position where I felt I needed it - was to be transparent with my actions. So let’s start with the full context of the events of this past weekend.
Armuun has been a bit of a disruptive member to the TAY Discord. Although he has not done too much to warrant a full banning (although he is sitting at two strikes), he frequently makes remarks that are, to my eyes, designed to get a rise out of people or are in bad taste. After his second strike and after he made a statement that “I pushed the envelope and that he would be sure to send a letter of his untimely demise” I reached out to him writing a letter outlining that while I was fine with him being in the chat, it was never designed to be therapy for anyone and to seek help. I offered to help him in whatever way I could while also outlining some things that even though he was depressed, I couldn’t tolerate in the chat any longer.
His response was a one line sentence that read that he never threatened to kill himself leading me to believe that he either did not read the letter I’d written or that he was just ignoring the majority of it.
One of the things I said I really did not want to see anymore was him trying to usurp or 1 - up someone else’s bad day - something he has admitted he does frequently sometimes “as a competition.” The next day he did it again and was reminded that it was not OK. My point being that it seems that he either does not care or actively works to flaunt the rules.
I give you this context so that you understand I have no patience and do not feel like “playing nice” with him any longer. His only addition to the discord chat is to either play 1-up someone’s bad day (real life example: #1: My dad was diagnosed with cancer today Armuun: My dad died a long time ago. (I can’t make this stuff up)), or to engage in fairly NSFW inappropriate role play with meathead.
I’m not sure if he enjoys it or not, but meathead plays along and that is what leads us to Saturday’s post by Armuun “the meatables”
Now my comments in the comments section were a unilateral move on my part to discourage this kind of post. The emotion behind them I’ve outlined above. My mistake is I didn’t discuss after I’ve acted (why I encourage myself and the other admins to act first and then discuss is the topic for a whole other series of articles entitle, “admin by committee: The three day banning”). I didn’t follow my own rules because it was on TAY and not on the discord. However as it pertained to the discord community I should have consulted with the other admins first.
My comments, which were squarely directed at Armuun did not exist in a bubble. Meathead, upon reading them, believed that he was unwelcome in the chat/that he wasn’t accepted. I take a lot of the blame for not just discussing this with Armuun in private, but Meathead, please. If you feel like I’m attacking you come to me first before just leaving. I accept you and I believe you add a lot to our corner of the internet, it’d be a shame if you stayed gone. I hope you come back and I’m sorry for not being more focused in my words.
So the Meathead/Armuun pervert hour. A glib and hurtful way of saying the interactions that Meathead and Armuun have. Keep in mind I have mentioned to both of them to keep the lewd-ness to a minimum and I have good reason for this.
In the past I’ve heard from people who come into the chatroom, see some of the perverse stuff that goes on in there, and then leave or don’t feel like it’s a place they want to stay in. While I do believe that the discord is a bit more on the anarchic side of things, I’ve really been trying my best to reign in some of the more perverse discussions. I’ve created a more formal rule set and set the invite link to redirect to those rules so that all who enter the discord at least have seen where the rules are kept. I’ve created a clear member list with who the admins are separated out so that if there is any trouble members know who to talk to. I’ve separated users into “active” and “online” with different permission sets so that active users are users who have shown themselves to be adding to the conversation in a meaningful way. “Online” users cannot embed links, images, or files. I’ve made a streamer role where one can get a purple color in the chat if they rep TAY in their streams.
Even with all that, there’s going to be a level of raunch you won’t find on TAY proper. I like it that way. TAY is a great place and we’re great people. I know that when Seething Hatred makes a dirty joke it’s because he’s seething hatred. That’s what he does. He also contributes a lot to the general discussion about things which keeps the chat alive. When I start telling people to not contribute because I don’t like what they say, that’s when the chat dies. This is why, even though I don’t personally like the guy (and this is OK I am not required to like everyone, right?), I won’t ban Armuun.
So back to the post. This weekend the admins and I got together and discussed. We were all pretty upset that meathead felt he had to leave (come back to us lil mr. meathead!). We discussed a lot and here are some of the issues we talked about:
- If people are telling me that they don’t like the place, I should also mention to the admins that people are telling me they don’t like the place. This is pretty common sense and I agree 100%.
- A monthly admin meeting to talk about any issues and make sure we’re all on the same page regarding things.
- We got rid of the NSFW channel. This was special privilege given to a few people to use the channel’s bot to pull NSFW content. It was hardly used and didn’t really mesh with the TAY ethos. There are entire servers out there filled to the brim with porn. We felt if you want it, you don’t have to look too hard for it. No need for it here.
- We made a channel where people can go to do the more lewd discussions and more shooting from the hip type discussions that either interrupt the flow of general or don’t belong due to NSFW content. The regular rules of the discord still apply there, but the NSFW content is more lax. The bot cannot be used to pull rule34 content here, and porn is discouraged although the discussion topic is viable. Think of it as “TAY after dark”.
So what are your thoughts or feelings? I will make a temp channel on Discord called town hall where you can share your thoughts/ideas/whatever. It’s totally open. Anything you say can’t and will not be held against you. If you absolutely hate the direction that we are going, speak up! Although I’m beholden to a certain baseline that I’m frankly glad exists, due to our association with TAY - I am flexible with how we approach making one and all feel welcome. The idea is to grow, not stifle.